BElieve in YOUrself
XX.
welcome to my little pretty mind. Enjoy.
One of the saddest, hardest moments of your life will be when you are crying and screaming to the world pleading for a sign.
A sign that you should stay alive for one more day, maybe a couple of days.
But that sign doesn’ t come. You stare at your phone thinking maybe someone will answer or someone will text you asking if you’re okay. You search endlessly for some reason to stay alive but you can’t find any.
That is probably the most heartbreaking moment when you can’t find any reason to stay alive when you need it most because you suddenly feel all this pain and you feel more alone than you’ve ever felt in your entire life.
That moment will break you and I don’t wish it on even my worst enemies
You tell me to just stop being so sad, but you don’t understand what it’s like, feeling like something is constantly crushing your chest
I think about jumping in front of the train every morning on my way to class. I stand over the yellow line and just think about stepping forward. As the train comes, I often close my eyes and imagine it hitting me. For a second, I feel calm. Almost happy. Until I have to open my eyes again and continue with the day like everything’s perfectly okay.
“Maybe tomorrow”, I say to myself. Maybe tomorrow.
Does anyone else find it crazy that you can be so fucking depressed and no one around you notices? Not your parents, your siblings, your friends, your teachers, your classmates, no one. Like you can literally be on the verge of tears, drowning, and everyone is totally oblivious.
I find it funny that I’m getting worse everyday but people keep telling me how much better I am.
― 3 am J
